RESENTFUL
Regulation Strategies
RESENTFUL
3 Essential Tips for Navigating Resentment
Acknowledge and Explore the Feeling
Why It’s Important: Resentment often builds when unmet needs, expectations, or boundaries are left unaddressed. Acknowledging it allows you to pinpoint its source and address underlying issues instead of letting resentment fester.
How to Do It: Ask yourself, What am I feeling resentful about? and What needs or boundaries were not met? Explore journal prompts below or speak with a trusted person to bring clarity to your emotions.
Practice Letting Go of Expectations
Why It’s Important: Unrealistic or unspoken expectations can breed resentment when reality doesn’t match your assumptions. Letting go of these expectations helps you reduce disappointment and frustration.
How to Do It: Reflect on the expectations you’ve placed on someone or a situation. Ask yourself, Are these expectations realistic? Then, ask: What would happen if I let go of this expectation and approached it differently?
Set Clear Boundaries and Communicate Assertively
Why It’s Important: Resentment often arises from feeling undervalued or taken for granted. Setting boundaries ensures that your needs and feelings are respected, fostering healthier interactions and relationships.
How to Do It: Clearly and calmly communicate your boundaries, focusing on your feelings and needs rather than blaming. Use statements like, “I feel overwhelmed when I take on too much work alone. I’d appreciate it if we could find a way to share the responsibility.”
Journal Prompts for when you’re feeling Resentful…
Journaling when you're feeling resentful provides a powerful outlet for this heavy emotion. It allows you to process your thoughts, gain clarity, and explore the root causes of resentment, helping you shift from frustration to understanding and constructive action.
Where do you feel this feeling in your body? How does it show up physically for you?
What triggered this feeling? Reflect on the event or interaction that brought up this emotion and identify the underlying reasons behind it.
Spend 5 minutes free writing without judgment about your feelings and/or an emotionally charged episode.
Get it out! Write a letter to the person/circumstance that’s causing you to feel this way - but dont send it. Just allow yourself to sit with the feelings.
Are there any memories attached to this feeling or situation? Is this situation similar to something that has happened in your childhood? How did it feel?
How has this resentment affected my behavior or mindset?
Explore the impact resentment has had on your actions or thoughts. Are you withdrawing, becoming defensive, or blaming others?What would I need in order to release this resentment?
Consider what changes, conversations, or shifts would help you move past this feeling. What action can you take to address the issue?How can I practice self-compassion while working through my resentment?
Resentment often involves feelings of being wronged, but practicing self-compassion allows you to move forward without self-blame. Write about how you can treat yourself with care as you work through this emotion.What happens when you hold in your feeling? How does it make you feel mentally and physically?
What unmet need or boundary is at the heart of my resentment?
Resentment often arises when our needs or boundaries are not being respected. Write about what you feel is lacking or what was crossed.How does this emotion align with my values and goals? Consider whether these emotions are in alignment with who you want to be and the goals you have set for yourself.
What assumptions or judgments am I making about the other person or situation? How might a shift in perspective help me see this differently?
Challenge yourself to move from judgment to curiosity and empathy.What steps can I take to address the cause of my resentful feelings constructively? How can I communicate my feelings or set boundaries in a way that aligns with my values?
Use your insights to determine actionable ways to move forward.What actions or steps could I take that would help me feel more at peace right now?
How do you speak to yourself when you’re experiencing this feeling? Does it differ from how you speak to yourself when you’re not experiencing this feeling?
Have you ever been ashamed or embarrassed by this feeling? What was the situation, and were you the one who made yourself feel ashamed, or was it other people? (Could be both)
For professional success …
Use Proactive Boundary Setting
What it is & Why it Works: Proactive boundary setting means clearly defining your limits and expectations before resentment builds. It ensures that your workload, time, and emotional energy are respected, which helps prevent resentment from escalating.
How to Practice: Communicate your boundaries assertively but respectfully, using statements like, “I can take on this project, but I need a clear timeline and support to make it manageable.” Being upfront minimizes misunderstandings and sets the stage for healthier interactions.
To fuel personal growth and success …
Reflect and Release with Gratitude Journaling
What it is & Why it Works: Gratitude journaling shifts your focus from resentment to appreciation, helping you see positive aspects in your life and relationships. This practice can lessen resentment by highlighting what’s good and fostering a more balanced perspective.
How to Practice: Each day, write down at least three things you’re grateful for, including people or moments—even small ones. Ask yourself, How might these positive elements balance out my feelings of resentment?
Explore the benefits and tips for practicing HERE
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique: This technique helps redirect your focus away from overwhelming emotions and into the present moment, promoting mindfulness. Engaging your senses calms the nervous system, counteracting the fight-or-flight response and fostering a sense of safety. This practice encourages clarity and thoughtful responses, reducing impulsive reactions.
Here’s how to implement it:
Find a Comfortable Position: Sit or stand in a quiet place where you can focus without distractions.
Take a Deep Breath: Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale through your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this a few times to center yourself.
Engage Your Senses:
5 Things You Can See: Look around you and identify five things you can see. It could be the color of the walls, a picture, or a shadow on the floor.
4 Things You Can Touch: Notice four things you can physically touch. This might be the texture of your clothing, the chair you’re sitting in, or the ground beneath your feet.
3 Things You Can Hear: Listen for three sounds. This could be the ticking of a clock, the sound of traffic outside, or birds chirping.
2 Things You Can Smell: Identify two scents in your environment. If you can't smell anything at the moment, think of your two favorite scents, like fresh coffee or a favorite perfume.
1 Thing You Can Taste: Focus on one thing you can taste. This could be the aftertaste of a meal, a mint in your mouth, or simply the air around you.
Reflect and Release: After going through the senses, take another deep breath. Reflect on how you feel now compared to when you started the exercise. Acknowledge any shifts in your emotional state and allow yourself to release some of that anger.
Explore other mindfulness strategies HERE.
Breathing Exercises…
4-7-8 Breathing
What it is & Why it Works: This breathing technique calms the nervous system, helping you break free from the cycle of escalating judgment or irritation. It engages the parasympathetic nervous system to promote relaxation and helps you release resentment by bringing your focus to your breath and fostering a sense of calm and clarity.
How to Practice: Inhale through your nose for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 7, and exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat 4-6 times until you feel a sense of calm.
Learn more about Mindful Breathing Practices HERE.