ENVIOUS
Envy feels like a longing for something someone else has—a sense of comparison that can leave you feeling inadequate or discontent. It’s not just about wanting what others have; it’s about the emotional toll of feeling less than. These emotional regulation strategies will help you acknowledge and understand envy, turn it into a source of motivation, and shift your focus back to your own journey.
Journal Prompts for when you’re feeling Envious
Journaling when you’re feeling envious gives you the space to unpack the emotions and uncover what’s truly beneath them. It helps you transform feelings of comparison into clarity about your own values and aspirations. Use these prompts to reflect and recalibrate:
Where do you feel this feeling in your body? How does it show up physically for you?
Spend 5 minutes free writing without judgment about your feelings and/or an emotionally charged episode.
Get it out! Write a letter to the person or circumstance that’s causing you to feel this way, but don’t send it. Just allow yourself to sit with the feelings.
What triggered this feeling? Reflect on the thoughts, events, or interactions that brought up this emotion. Are there any uncertainties or fears attached to it?
Ask yourself: What does this envy reveal about what I deeply desire in my own life?
Are there any memories attached to this feeling or situation? Is this situation similar to something that has happened in your childhood? How did it feel?
Imagine yourself free from the burden of this feeling. How would your life be different? What goals would you set for yourself? Use this prompt to envision a future where you embrace your abilities and achieve even greater success.
Ask yourself: What would it look like to fully embrace where I am right now?
What’s one way you can cultivate a sense of gratitude for the present moment, instead of feeling discontent or longing?
Ask yourself: What small step can I take today to reduce the intensity of this feeling and bring myself more peace?
What would I tell a friend who is feeling envious? How can I offer myself the same compassion and reassurance?
How do you speak to yourself when you’re experiencing this feeling? Does it differ from how you speak to yourself when you’re not experiencing this feeling?
For professional success …
Reframe Envy as Inspiration
Why it works: Viewing envy as a signal of what you admire or aspire to can turn the feeling into a motivator for growth.
How to practice: Reflect on what specifically you’re envious of—skills, achievements, or qualities. Write down actionable steps to develop those areas in your own life. For example, if you envy someone’s presentation skills, commit to joining a public speaking group or practicing more often.
To fuel personal growth and success …
Gratitude Practice: Cultivate a habit of gratitude by acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of your life and experiences. Gratitude redirects your focus from what you lack to what you already have, fostering a sense of contentment and abundance.
Discover how gratitude can bring calm and clarity—learn more HERE.
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique: This technique helps redirect your focus away from overwhelming emotions and into the present moment, Engaging your senses calms the nervous system, counteracting the fight-or-flight response and fostering a sense of safety.
Here’s how to implement it:
Find a Comfortable Position: Sit or stand in a quiet place where you can focus without distractions.
Take a Deep Breath: Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale through your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this a few times to center yourself.
Engage Your Senses:
5 Things You Can See: Look around you and identify five things you can see. It could be the color of the walls, a picture, or a shadow on the floor.
4 Things You Can Touch: Notice four things you can physically touch. This might be the texture of your clothing, the chair you’re sitting in, or the ground beneath your feet.
3 Things You Can Hear: Listen for three sounds. This could be the ticking of a clock, the sound of traffic outside, or birds chirping.
2 Things You Can Smell: Identify two scents in your environment. If you can't smell anything at the moment, think of your two favorite scents, like fresh coffee or a favorite perfume.
1 Thing You Can Taste: Focus on one thing you can taste. This could be the aftertaste of a meal, a mint in your mouth, or simply the air around you.
Reflect and Release: Take another deep breath after going through the senses. Compare how you feel now to when you started the exercise. Acknowledge any shifts in your emotional state.
Discover powerful mindfulness strategies to help you stay focused and calm—click HERE to explore!
Breathing Exercises…
4-7-8 Breathing
Why it works: This technique calms your nervous system, reducing stress and emotional intensity, making it easier to process envy with a clearer mind.
How to practice:
Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 7.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 8.
Repeat the cycle 4-5 times, allowing your body to release tension and your mind to reset.
Learn more about Mindful Breathing and Find Tips for Practicing HERE.