HATEFUL
If you're experiencing feelings of self-hate, thinking of self-harm, or having suicidal thoughts, please reach out immediately for help:
Call 911 for Emergency Services
Call or text 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which offers 24-hour, confidential support for anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
Journal Prompts for when you’re feeling hateful…
Journaling when you're feeling hateful allows you to release and examine these intense emotions safely, helping you understand their root causes without acting on them impulsively. This self-reflection can lead to clarity, empowering you to approach situations with more compassion and control.
Where do you feel this feeling in your body? How does it show up physically for you?
What specific situation or person is triggering this feeling, and what deeper pain or fear might it be tied to?
Spend 5 minutes free writing without judgment about your feelings and/or an emotionally charged episode.
Get it out! Write a letter to the person/circumstance that’s causing you to experience feeling hateful - but dont send it. Just allow yourself to release and move through the feelings.
Are there any memories attached to this feeling or situation? Is this situation similar to something that has happened in your childhood? How did it feel?
What does letting go of this feeling look like? What would it mean to you? What would best help you let go at this very moment?
What happens when you hold in or onto your hate? How does it make you feel mentally and physically?
What needs or values are being threatened or fulfilled by this emotion? Explore the deeper needs, desires, or values that may be underlying the emotion you are experiencing.
How does this emotion align with your values and goals? Consider whether these emotions are in alignment with who you want to be and the goals you have set for yourself.
What actions or steps could I take that would help me feel more at peace right now?
What expectations do I feel have been violated, and why are these expectations important to me?
Was there ever a time when you released your hateful feelings in a way that harmed the situation? What about a time when you released your hateful feelings in a way that helped the situation?
How do you speak to yourself when you’re experiencing this feeling? Does it differ from how you speak to yourself when you’re not feeling hateful?
Have you ever been ashamed or embarrassed of this feeling? What was the situation, and were you the one who made yourself feel ashamed, or was it other people? (Could be both)
What advice would you give a friend or family member who is struggling with the same feelings?
What would forgiveness or acceptance look like in this situation, and how might it help me find inner peace?
For professional success …
Strategy to Fuel Professional Success: Shift to Solution-Oriented Thinking
Why It Works: Redirecting hate into solution-oriented thinking allows you to transform difficult emotions into proactive steps. Rather than letting hate lead to burnout or destructive behavior, focusing on solutions helps you regain control and establish a sense of purpose. This mindset shift also demonstrates resilience and leadership, fostering a positive reputation in the workplace.
How to Implement:
Acknowledge and Pause: Notice the feeling and take a moment to breathe, giving yourself space to avoid impulsive reactions.
Identify the Challenge: Reframe the feeling by pinpointing the underlying problem or conflict. Ask yourself, “What specifically triggered this emotion?”
Shift to Solutions: Turn your energy toward finding a constructive action you can take. It might be setting a meeting to discuss a challenge, suggesting a process improvement, or simply writing down your thoughts to gain clarity. Focus on what you can control and act on that.
Self-Compassion Check-In: Hate often arises from feeling wronged, judged, or disappointed, which can lead to self-criticism and a sense of inadequacy. Practicing self-compassion transforms this inner conflict by encouraging self-acceptance. By pausing to acknowledge your worth, you prevent negative feelings from impacting your confidence and actions.
How to Implement:
Pause and Acknowledge: Take a deep breath and mentally note what triggered the feeling.
Reframe with Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that everyone struggles and feels hate at times. Acknowledge this moment as part of the human experience.
Set a Kind Intention: Ask yourself what kindness you can extend to yourself in this moment. This might be a quick affirmation, like "I am doing my best" or "This feeling is valid, but it doesn't define me."
To fuel personal growth and success …
Turn Hate into Curiosity: Redirecting hate into curiosity diffuses its intensity and allows you to view situations with more openness. Curiosity leads to learning, perspective, and understanding, which are critical for personal growth. By shifting from judgment to inquiry, you increase your ability to empathize, reflect, and grow from the experience.
How to Implement:
Identify the Core: When feeling hateful, pinpoint the source—what specifically triggered this emotion?
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Explore the “why” behind the feeling. For instance, “Why am I reacting this way? Is there a fear or unmet need driving this?”
Take Action from a New Insight: Based on what you’ve learned, take one action that reflects curiosity, whether it’s learning more about the topic, asking for feedback, or even journaling to further clarify your insights.
Movement: Engaging in physical activity is a powerful way to release the tension and stress that often come with feeling hateful. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins—natural mood boosters that can lift your spirits and help ease the physiological symptoms of anger, like a racing heart and tight muscles. This outlet not only helps you channel that negative energy into something positive, but it also fosters a sense of empowerment and control over your emotions.
Express Your Feelings Creatively: Engaging in creative expression can be a powerful outlet for feeling hateful. It allows you to process your emotions and channel them into something meaningful, fostering personal growth and self-discovery. Learn more about the benefits of creative expression here
How to Implement:
Choose Your Medium: Decide how you want to express your anger—through writing, art, music
Create Without Judgment: Set a timer for 15-30 minutes and immerse yourself in the creative process. Focus solely on expressing your anger without worrying about the outcome or perfection.
Reflect: After you finish, take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Notice any shifts in your emotions and how the act of creation has transformed your anger into something positive.
Breathing Exercises…
Implementing Deep Breathing for Managing Intense Emotions: Deep breathing is an accessible and powerful way to regulate intense feelings and stay in control during intense moments.
When you’re experiencing high-energy troublesome feelings the body’s fight-or-flight response is triggered, leading to faster, shallow breathing. This shallow breathing reinforces feelings of stress and agitation. Deep breathing reverses this process by activating the body’s relaxation response, specifically the parasympathetic nervous system. It slows the heart rate, reduces blood pressure, and quiets mental chatter. Physically, it brings more oxygen to the brain, helping you think clearly and stay composed. Here’s how to practice:
Find a Quiet Space: If possible, step away to a quieter place where you won’t be disturbed.
Sit Comfortably and Close Your Eyes: Sit with your back straight to allow better airflow, and close your eyes to reduce distractions.
Focus on Your Breath: Place one hand on your stomach to help you feel each breath, focusing on the rise and fall.
Repeat Consistently: Continue for at least 4 rounds or until you notice a sense of calm returning.
Breathing Exercises…
Implementing Deep Breathing for Managing Anger: Deep breathing is an accessible and powerful way to regulate anger and stay in control during intense moments.
When you’re angry, the body’s fight-or-flight response is triggered, leading to faster, shallow breathing. This shallow breathing reinforces feelings of stress and agitation. Deep breathing reverses this process by activating the body’s relaxation response, specifically the parasympathetic nervous system. It slows the heart rate, reduces blood pressure, and quiets mental chatter. Physically, it brings more oxygen to the brain, helping you think clearly and stay composed. Here’s how to practice:
Find a Quiet Space: If possible, step away to a quieter place where you won’t be disturbed.
Sit Comfortably and Close Your Eyes: Sit with your back straight to allow better airflow, and close your eyes to reduce distractions.
Focus on Your Breath: Place one hand on your stomach to help you feel each breath, focusing on the rise and fall.
Repeat Consistently: Continue for at least 4 rounds or until you notice a sense of calm returning.
Explore more Mindful Breathing techniques to reduce the intensity of an emotion and regain a sense of control and calm HERE.