EMOTIONAL REGULATION

What is Emotional Regulation And Why Should You Care ?

“Our emotions flow in a continuous stream, like a river, and to keep up with that we’re constantly regulating them. It’s how we maintain our balance and keep from being swept away by one strong feeling or another.” Dr. Mark Brackett, Ph.D, Director, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.  

What is Emotional Regulation:

Stanford University psychology professor James Gross, an authority on emotional regulation, defines it as “the process by which individuals influence which emotions they have, when they have them, and how they experience and express these emotions.” In other words, it’s the ability to affect and manage our own emotional state.

The Goal:

The goal of emotional regulation isn’t to control, avoid, or mask our feelings; it’s to own them. When we acknowledge and embrace our emotions, we reclaim our power, allowing us to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively or letting our feelings dictate our actions.

This ownership allows us to navigate our feelings with intention, transforming them into powerful allies helping us manage life’s ups and downs with more ease and confidence.

Why do we need Emotional Regulation Strategies?

We've all experienced moments when our emotions have derailed us—like losing our temper in a high-stakes team meeting and snapping at a colleague, or feeling overwhelmed by deadlines and allowing that pressure to spill over into our personal lives, igniting unnecessary arguments with loved ones. That’s why having a repertoire of healthy emotional regulation strategies is essential; it helps us pause and refrain from making a permanent decision or taking action based on a temporary emotion.

Your Secret Weapon = A Diverse Toolbox of Strategies

Developing a diverse toolbox of emotional regulation techniques and adapting them as needed can be your secret weapon for effectively managing and navigating your emotions.

Healthy Regulation Strategies include:

• Mindfulness: These practices help calm the body and mind and allow us to observe our thoughts and feelings in the present moment without judgment. By fostering this awareness, we can minimize the negative impacts of emotions and respond with clarity and intention.

• Journaling: Journaling provides a safe space to express and explore our thoughts and feelings without judgment. This process helps us gain clarity and new perspectives on challenges while lowering cortisol levels, acting as a release valve for stress and anxiety. By enhancing emotional awareness, journaling allows us to identify patterns and triggers, fostering personal growth.

• Transform your thoughts: These strategies help you identify, reframe, and challenge thoughts that are contributing to your emotional distress. By changing our thoughts, we can alter our emotional responses, enabling us to approach challenges with greater resilience and optimism.

•  Put Yourself First: By taking time to nurture ourselves, we enhance our energy, and emotional resilience and maintain a healthier overall state, allowing us to respond more effectively to life's challenges.

• Movement: Engaging in movement helps regulate emotions by releasing endorphins, reducing stress, and creating a sense of mental clarity. It gets us out of our heads and into our bodies and provides an outlet for processing feelings in a non-verbal way.

• Thrive, Together: Connecting with others provides a sense of belonging, reducing feelings of isolation, and offering different perspectives on challenging situations. Emotional support from trusted individuals strengthens our resilience and improves our mood.

Tip: Explore the Regulation Strategy Index

Not all strategies will work equally for everyone or in every situation. For example, when you're feeling anxious before a big presentation; using breathing exercises can help center your emotions, allowing you to perform confidently and clearly. Alternatively, if you're struggling with feelings of disappointment after not landing a job you wanted, journaling about your experience may be best to provide clarity and help you process those emotions. So explore and experiment with different strategies and techniques to find the ones that resonate with you and your unique needs.

The Benefits

Research shows by practicing healthy emotional regulation strategies, we can strengthen relationships, make wiser decisions, reduce stress, and enhance our overall well-being. Here are some evidence-based benefits of emotional regulation

• Improved Mental Health: Effective emotional regulation is associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress.¹

• Enhanced Relationships: Emotional regulation can lead to healthier interpersonal relationships by reducing conflict and promoting effective communication²

• Better Decision-Making: Individuals who practice emotional regulation tend to make more rational and informed decisions rather than reacting impulsively.³

• Greater Resilience: Effective emotional regulation fosters resilience, allowing individuals to bounce back from adversity more effectively.⁴

• Enhanced Academic and Job Performance: Emotional regulation is linked to better performance in academic and professional settings⁵.

• Increased Life Satisfaction: Individuals who practice effective emotional regulation tend to report higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being.⁶

• Reduced Physical Health Issues: Poor emotional regulation can lead to chronic stress, which is linked to various physical health issues.⁷

1. Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010), Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review.

2. Brackett, M. A., Rivers, S. E., & Salovey, P. (2011), Emotional intelligence and emotional regulation: A theoretical and empirical review

3. Gross, J. J. (2002), Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences.

4. Tugade, M. M., & Fredrickson, B. L. (2004), Resilient individuals use positive emotions to bounce back from negative emotional experiences.

5. Schutte, N. S., et al. (2001), Emotional intelligence and academic performance: The role of learning strategies.

6. Côté, S., et al. (2011), Emotional intelligence and job performance: A meta-analysis.

7. Lyubomirsky, S., et al. (2005), The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success?